After a bit of thought I decided to change the Header/Banner thing at the top of my blog.
The one I had before was of half a woman’s face with a striking blue eye and long black hair (you had to see it to get it). Of those who commented on it, one person said it was striking, another that it really stood out (sorry, can’t actually remember who said these things, if I can find them again I’ll acknowledge them) and then Liz from lizeccentric7 blog said it had deficiencies and I appreciated that critique. It made me think of finding something that was more akin to what I want for this blog. I may at some stage change the colour scheme of this blog as well but for now I like a darkish background and lighter font colour.
Anyway, I decided to change the Banner to the one above this piece of writing, the half torso leaping over a gap in the hill top with the sun shining in the sky. I like this (I may inevitably change again but this is it for now) as it reminds me of my own journey, it indicates a before and after, a from and to, an away from and a towards, and it indicates that sometimes we need to take a run and a jump and leap into the future and that in taking that leap there can be some danger and we might feel if we don’t get the jump right then there is a yawning chasm below us just ready and waiting to welcome us to its frightening depths. It can also be the case that you can’t take much with you, for to leap that gap you have to be light and able to at least stay in the air long enough to land on the other side. So you can’t always take everything with you and some things are too heavy and would deny you the chance of making it to the other side and you need to leave it behind. This can be painful but also, at times, necessary.
Of course, if you aren’t careful or aren’t paying attention you can trip and fall into the chasm. You could have a 127 Hours experience (if you’ve seen the film you’ll know). You could slip into the chasm (I think the bloke in the film jumped intentionally into the gap between the rocks but hey, its an imperfect illustration), displace a boulder which then traps you in the gap where you face days of agony and intense self-reflection before resorting to drastic measures, possible hallucinations, the dilemma of how does one go to the bathroom in such a situation, before cutting your arm off using a blunt pen knife and brute strength while gritting your teeth in sheer agony. You can still survive, even armless, like the bloke in the film did. There’s always a bright side… 😉
In my own journey I feel I am in precisely the place the unidentified person in mid air is in, between the past and the future, in the process of making the leap from the past and into the future. The future I am leaping towards is, I hope, somewhere amazing, for I had a glimpse, perhaps several glimpses, from the side of the chasm I was on before I leapt and that glimpse gave me the motivation I needed. I saw a possible future and saw that it could be a great future, a hopeful future, a future worth fighting for and worth aiming for and worth taking that run and jump and leaping for and yes, even worth taking the risk of falling for.
Although I have no doubt that there will still be obstacles on the other side of that chasm, I still want to be there, for the past is the past and the future is the future and though we all take our past with us in various shapes and forms, it will be what we do and where we go now that defines us. Sometimes we still bear the scars of the past but those scars need not define us. We can allow ourselves, must allow ourselves, to be defined not by the past where those scars were formed but by the future where the scars can always remind us that we survived and moved forward and can thrive again.
I love the title of the Star Trek movie, ‘The Undiscovered Country’. That’s where I’m going, in a very real sense its where we all go every single day. But sometimes you come out of periods of anxiety, of burdens, of times and places that have served their purpose and its time to move on again. You head into pastures new with new plans, new hopes, a new direction. Maybe its a change of job, maybe its an addition to the family (planned or unplanned), maybe its the break up of a relationship and the both frightening and exciting move forwards from it, maybe its facing news of an illness (yours or someone else’s), maybe its a chance to pursue your dreams that you’ve been waiting for, longing for and working towards for months or years. Wherever and whatever it is, the undiscovered country beyond that chasm is a place I want to be.
Here’s to the somewhere amazing across the chasm.